IDEAS FOR LIVING A HAPPIER, LOVE FILLED LIFE
Empowered to Move On: How Hypnosis Can Help You Forget Your "Ex"
I hear that request more often than you might expect. The demise of a relationship, even one we know should or must end, can cause severe psychological and emotional stress...
“Can you hypnotize me to forget about someone?” I hear that request more often than you might expect. The demise of a relationship, even one we know should or must end, can cause severe psychological and emotional stress. In ancient cultures, there is a core belief that when we suffer an emotional or physical trauma, a part our essence or soul flees the body in order to survive the experience. A shaman or healer would be called in to perform a ritual called “Soul Retrieval” which was considered crucial to the person’s healing process. As a Hypnotherapist, I understand the value of this philosophy and have had the honor to guide many clients through a modern day version of Soul Retrieval using hypnosis to help them heal emotionally, and move forward.
Here are some real life stories about how Hypnosis has helped my clients to heal after a break-up or divorce. (The names have been changed for privacy.)
Stories of Betrayal Haunted Him: Jim had been divorced for two years. His wife had been the love of his life. She cheated on him with a best friend and the two went through a very bitter, ugly divorce. The whole experience left him “gun-shy” to date again for fear of getting hurt. In a very powerful hypnosis session, Jim was able to release the negative emotions from that experience and gain a much needed sense of closure helping him to feel free to move on.
The Ex-Boyfriend Who Haunted Her Dreams: Carrie had been married for over ten years when she came to get help with recurring dreams about an ex-boyfriend. It had been years since the breakup of her college sweetheart and first love of her life. Despite time passing and marrying another man, she kept dreaming that she was back at school, desperately trying to find her first love. She would frequently wake up frustrated and sad. Hypnosis helped her to understand the purpose of her recurring dream, gain some deep inner wisdom and the dreams stopped.
Obsession with the Other Man: Anne was married to a great guy. She described him as the perfect, loving, husband and father to their three children. Despite ideal circumstances, she found herself falling in love with another man she had met through work. Even though she knew it was wrong, she entered into a one night stand with the co-worker followed by a deep and intense emotional affair which they conducted via emails and texting. Anne knew that this love addiction would destroy her marriage if didn’t stop. She sought help from a skilled therapist and simultaneously used hypnosis to uncover and clear the unconscious reasons that compelled her obsession.
She Couldn’t Say Goodbye to a Soul Mate: Susan found herself stuck in a long-term relationship that she knew was unhealthy for her. Her boyfriend treated her disrespectfully, often criticizing her in public and flirting with other women in her presence. On several occasions, she had even caught him cheating with other women. Each time that she would end the relationship, deep feelings of abandonment and grief overwhelmed her and she would end up take her cheating boyfriend back. In a past life hypnosis session, Sue remembered two previous lives with this man. In both, they had been husband and wife and circumstances had caused his untimely death which left her feeling devastated and alone. After hypnosis, Susan felt empowered to end her relationship with this man in this life.
These cases are just a few examples of the after effects caused by the psychological and emotional stress from a painful break-up or divorce. Here are some common symptoms that can be related to unresolved pain or grief:
Feeling Emotionally Detached or Numb
Habitual Replaying of Past Conversations or Memories
Debilitating Fear of Getting Hurt Again
Obsession with the Lost Lover
Grief that Has Not Healed
Anger that Doesn’t Dissipate or Transfers to Other People in Your Life
Problems with Forgiveness
Victim Mentality
Insomnia or Stressful Dreams Related to the Break-Up
Headaches and Other Physical Problems
Post Traumatic Stress
Manifestation or Worsening of Addictions to Numb Emotional Loss and Pain
Immune System Deficiencies Caused by PTSD
Hopelessness or Depression
Feel Like a Part of You is Dead or Gone
If you are experiencing any of these problems, seek advice from a medical doctor or licensed mental health professional before using a complimentary health modality like hypnosis.
Carolyn Myss, the best-selling author of several books on the subject of the mind-body connection to health and healing believes “the emotional energy we divert focusing on painful memories, or in our efforts to suppress them, is the single most common cause of illness and disease.”
The truth is hypnosis can’t make you forget the one who caused you heartache. However, you can use hypnosis and other similar modalities that have the ability to go deeper than logic and act as powerful catalysts to help you heal emotionally and release the addictive thoughts that often plague us after break-up and divorce.
If you resonate with the stories in this article and are interested in getting my help with your own personal healing journey, apply for a free discovery session with me.
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Gratitude: The Subtle Power Within.
Learn the secret behind daily gratitude.
This year, I bought something called “Pak-Its” that go inside the lunch sacks for my two children. Each “Pak-It” contains four compartments; one for a sandwich, and three others for snacks, fruit, chips, etc. Each day, I try to surprise my kids with a variety of fruit and snacks. I love to see their smiling faces and hear them express so much gratitude from something as mundane and simple as what’s in a lunchbox!
Why is it as we get older, many of us have a hard time appreciating the simple things in life? Perhaps, it’s because life becomes more complicated. Or is it something else?
Years ago, I remember I was really struggling with appreciating my life. At the time, I was living in a constant state of fear and anxiety around money. My husband had been out of work for almost a year. If he didn’t find a job soon, we were going to lose our home. Typical to someone who is in financial straits, I found myself ruminating constantly on thoughts like…”Where will we move if we lose the house? Could we bring our dog to an apartment? Could we find an apartment in the same school district? What furniture would we keep?”
The subconscious mind will obsess on unwanted outcomes. The perception is that if we worry, we can somehow avoid the negative consequences we fear. Or in the very least be prepared for the worst.
Seeking a positive focus, I joined a women’s empowerment group that met weekly. I will never forget the first meeting with these funny, spiritual women. Starved for inspiration and light, their energy instantly uplifted me. The hostess introduced me and then led the group in a standard opening activity which was called, “Gratitudes.” This meant that each woman in the group was asked to share at least one thing for which she was grateful that took place in the previous week. In this way, each woman got to share a piece of her life as we simultaneously engaged in co-creating positive energy.
If you’ve ever been through a time in your life when you feel like you are in survival mode and everything is a struggle, you might relate when I say, that for the longest time, I had a hard time thinking of a “gratitude.” My mind was locked into a non-stop chatter of anxious driven dialogue like, “My husband is out work. We are struggling financially. We may lose our home. The kids are arguing. I’m exhausted. What will we do?” And on and on….
Over the course of several weeks, something inside must have shifted though. A new habit of looking for the good must have been fostering a new perspective because something out of the ordinary happened the night before Thanksgiving. I indulged a few dollars and went out with friends to a local restaurant to hear live music. The band was energetic and fun! The loud music was a welcome infusion of positive energy!
Later on that evening, I walked down the hall to the back of the building towards the restrooms. Out of the abrupt silence. I heard a single sentence inside my head, “What you fear most will set you free.” I stopped in my tracks. What did that mean? It was my voice….but the way that the sentence was phrased was not how I would normally speak. It reminded me of something Obi-wan Kenobe would say to a student to whom he teaches the ways of the Jedi.
I laughed and asked myself, “What was my worst fear at that moment?” Losing our home? Yes. Well, what if we lost our home? What’s the worst that would happen? So, we move into an apartment. So what! A rush of energy and relief flowed through me. Me, my husband, my children… we are all healthy! Suddenly, I felt light and a feeling of immense gratitude for our safety and health flowed through me. I felt a deep inner calm that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
That was a turning point in my soul. The point when I was able to see the glass half full in life despite life’s struggles.
I continued to participate in the women’s group weekly for many years. Over time, my “gratitudes” became more plentiful. The simple things in life like a comfortable bed and bird singing outside my window bring me joy. This continues to occur despite times when life has been extremely stressful for me. Like when a huge family inheritance was lost. And especially, when my best friend and godmother to my two children died of brain cancer.
Gratitude is a lifeboat that keeps your spirit afloat even in difficult times.
You can’t inflate your “lifeboat” all at once though. You must breathe life into it daily to keep it inflated and uplifting you. It’s okay to start small. Maybe it’s just gratitude for a soft pillow and indoor plumbing.
A friend of mine named Ben is a retired CFO of a major corporation. In his retirement, he has turned to studying Peruvian shamanism and now practices as a healer. Spending time with him is such a delight. He constantly whispers phrases of gratitude under his breath. I hear him say, “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!” when he begins a healing. I hear him say it when things go well and when things don’t. He is one of the happiest people I know.
From my own life and those I’ve watched, I believe that what you focus on is what you attract. And if you concentrate on looking for experiences and people to appreciate, the more you will live in a state of appreciation and bliss. And when life challenges you, look for the little things to appreciate like lunchboxes to inflate your lifeboat.
May your blessings be plentiful this holiday season!
Namaste.
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Overcoming a Phobia: The Story of Radio Personality Brooke Ryan & Her Fear of Fish
A podcast series where radio show host Brooke Ryan shares her session by session experience of working with Rebecca to overcome her lifetime phobia of fish.
Summary: Brooke Ryan is a local radio show host of Charleston's Mix96 Radio show in the morning called "Two Girls and a Guy." This podcast series shares Brooke’s week by week experience over the radio working with Rebecca to overcome her lifetime phobia of fish.
How I Discovered the Power of Hypnosis
How hypnotherapy radically cleared my depression and redirected my life,
I moved to southern California at the age of 25. I distinctly remember the gratitude I felt. What wasn’t there to love about my life? I lived a half block from the sand in Newport Beach, drove a cute, and fully paid for Volkswagon Cabriolet convertible, had made many friends, and was earning a good salary working as an environmental engineer.
Despite this idyllic life, I experienced regular bouts of debilitating anxiety and depression that would roll over me like the morning fog coming off the Pacific Ocean. I would try to talk myself out of the feelings by reminding myself of how wonderful my life was. It didn’t work and I felt stuck.
Newport Beach, California
It’s funny how you know something is really wrong inside when your life is so good that you can’t blame your unhappiness on anything or anyone around you.
My best friend suggested counseling. I resisted. Not because I didn’t believe in the effectiveness of therapy but because I had been through so much of it already. I knew that my anxious worries and fears were irrational. Due to my father’s alcoholism, I had participated in all kinds of therapeutic counseling including Ala-Teen, family intervention therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and psychotherapy from age 16 to age 24. Looking back, the therapy helped immensely. It helped me to detach from the dysfunction, stop feeling like a victim, and most of all, gain the powerful understanding that my thoughts create my emotions. So why was I still feeling so stuck?
I asked myself, “What could they tell me that I haven’t already heard? That I don’t already know?” I know my anxiety is irrational. I know how I am supposed to be thinking and feeling to be happy but it’s not happening!
I had heard about hypnotherapy and that it could effect deeper levels of change than what we can reach consciously. Frankly, I always have had the attitude, “I’ll try anything once. ” So, I looked in the yellow pages of my local phone book (back before google and the internet) and found a list of Clinical hypnotherapists in my area. I remember picking a woman named Laurie Miller because she looked friendly and “normal.”
I will never forget my first session. I walked in there desperate for relief from my destructive and debilitating thoughts. I didn’t know what to expect. Immediately, she made me feel safe and comfortable. I told her that I felt irrational anxiety and often felt depressed despite how happy I was with my job and friends and where I lived. hen, she began the process of hypnosis with me.
She guided me to the first source of the anxiety and sadness and I found myself remembering a scene from age ten where I had gotten hurt falling off my bicycle and my pain and emotional needs were ridiculed which left me feeling anxious and sad. That night I felt tired and I slept hard. Then, I will never forget. Two days later, I felt physically and emotionally lighter! Like I had lost 15 pounds! I had no clue on the conscious level that so much emotion was still being held in my subconscious around that story.
The hypnosis session was so powerful and healing for me that I went back several more times to continue the process. “Let’s keep purging!” I exclaimed to the hypnotherapist.
Looking back, that first session was like opening a door to a deeper part of myself that I hadn’t been able to access with prior healing modalities.
Over the course of the next few weeks and several more sessions, I was able to clear my emotional baggage and begin to master my thoughts and emotions. I was able to finally break the patterns of anxiety and depression that had been destroying my peace and happiness.
The process so profoundly transformed me that I quit engineering to help others the way that I was once helped years ago. It is my mission to help those who know they want to behave or feel differently and want to make it happen on the deeper level where it is felt and known mind, body, and soul.
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